This post might give you a heart attack.

Ok. Remember the "Tourettes Guy?" Remember him? Offensive in name as in words, but I admit, damn funny!


This guy might be his successor! This heavy,heavy guy is funny as hell! Heavy, man! His humor carries a lot of weight. His humor is phat...I mean fat. He ain't heavy, he's my brother. Sorry, got carried away there!

So there I was minding my own business....

...trying desperately to find that one video clip of Valerie Bertinelli in her blue bikini by the pool. (Thanks Marie Osmond-what a ditz you are! Without your silly, jealous, maybe prudish(?) comments about the 49 year-old Valerie in a bikini and the subsequent gossip show's reports-that included a glimpse of Val in said bikini-I would not have known there was such a glorious testimony to the effects of someone like Val working her...a-well...extra pounds off-she still has curves! and it gives me uhhm...inspiration to work out myself.)
I know-most of this post sounds like so many double entendres! Most-(really-no kidding!) are not meant to be-they just came out ....awww forget it!

So... I came across some Youtube clips of gorgeous Valerie! Little did I know that I would also come across some of the weirdest, funniest YT comments I have seen in a while! *Just to let you know-as with many Youtube comments-these are some of the most nasty, profane, silly, immature, sexist, and mean spirited digital diatribes unleashed against people. Sometimes they can be kinda funny to point out though!

*(Click to enlarge)On one clip- (channel names/commenter names taken off to protect the innocent, even though I know you can check them out on YT yourself. People don't need any more or unwanted attention on YT) There's one guy who comments about the clip fairly innocuously-but gets his head chewed off by another commenter. At the end of the exchange, the 1st guy gets the last laugh!
In another VB clip "pants around the ankles guy" shows up again! Relentless, he is!



I checked out "super angry commenter's" (from the first screenshot) channel. Looks like someone's got anger issues!



Yes-Ms. Bertinelli has inspired many comments. Including guys(?) who want Valerie to wear a certain type of bikini...and horny guys who get ridiculed by other guys...
...and what's with the "pink polka dot" guy!? In another VB bikini clip (yes-I checked them all out!) he's still got "designs" on Valerie's swimwear!



Finally-of all the strange, horny, disgusting comments directed at Valerie, the next two have to be the strangest! What is the deal with the Illuminati amidst the hottie?! I mean, you're seeing all these slobbering guys' comments, and then this weird stuff about aliens and Alex Jones pops up! I don't get it!





I really need to lose some since we're talking about extra pounds! Speaking of weight issues...just saw a repeat TV medical show about that heaviest man in the world. Ugh! Reminds me of this clip!

Home Liposuction Kit - watch more funny videos

Look into my eyes...

Is it just me or has the material become decidedly raunchier last few posts? Oh well sometimes raunchy humor is good.
Someone sent this clip to me on my YT messages. I think its pretty funny. The clips are done by these guys BartBaKer. I included another clip from these guys.

True confessions Part 2-and some other crap

Update: I fixed the Top Gear in the South/rednecks video from June 14 2007. That was one of my most-clicked posts due to Jon Swift's "Best Blog Posts of 2007" feature. I am still trying to get those Eugene Mirman mp3's back online! I will!
I kinda got the Eugene Mirman stuff on again-(he had taken off the Mp3s and put on streaming clips) I put on a link to those, and put Youtube "clips" on. I still laugh like hell at this stuff! I can listen to it a thousand times-it's still funny!
Don't mess with the South/Phony phone conversation...

I forgot to post this admission last time, but here goes. It's another "name confusion" story.

Back before I was married (wife says "better be!") I met this really cute girl at a nightclub. I was always the shyest dude around but my friend goaded me into getting her number. I thought her name was "Hannah" (I wrote her number down- it was loud in there-just in case you're wondering how there might be confusion about her name)


Anyway, my cousin was getting married a few days later and I somehow got up the nerve to call her up to see if she wanted to go with me. There was going to be a reception, and dance after. I couldn't believe it when she said "yes"! (she was really pretty and I thought I had no business even being in her vicinity.) Anyway, we go to the ceremony and to the reception, and I'm introducing her as "Hannah" to all my cousins, aunties and uncles, etc. Then, after we ate, she wanted to change out of her "dressy" clothes into some clothes she could dance in, so I took her to her house. She came out dressed in the tightest, shortest, black miniskirt I had ever seen! Wow! So...let me collect my thoughts..thinking back....Oh yeah, uhhm... the dance! So we go back to the hall for the dance. All my male cousins (and even some uncles!) are checking Hannah out! In fact, I know a few of my male cousins' wives seemed a little pissed about her looking so damn good-ahem! I mean, they thought maybe the dress was a little too sexy. So a few of my relatives are coming around and I am introducing her to them: "Hannah, this is so and so...etc. Well one of the pissed off wives comes by and says something like-("I see you got into something a little more... comfortable") and I introduce Hannah to her. Pissed off wife/cousin says-"what was your name again?" and "Hannah" says "Anna"!! And PO'd cousin says "oh, I thought he called you "Hannah."!! I was shellshocked! Here I had been calling this girl Hannah all the time! I told her "I've been calling you 'Hannah!'" She said something like "it's ok-I knew you were just joking!" (I was like, yeah, that's right! I was just joking!) She was ok with it probably because when I called her on the phone, I was so nervous about talking to her, I used humor to drown out my flubs and "humina huminas." She apparently thought I was just teasing her about her name, and let me call her "Hannah"! (maybe she was a little "ditzy?" kind of like a Latina Barbie doll- I don't know!)

Here's some other crap:



I saw this "ad" for Youtube on its homepage. What the heck is that dessert supposed to be? (click to enlarge photo) I doesn't look appetizing at all! It looks like maggots in wet potting soil, with some whipping cream! I clicked the video and it's no joke. It's supposed to be YouTube's Holiday Solutions Center. I guess that clip is the one you want when you want a "solution" to not throwing up!

Music stuff

I enjoy checking out guitar clips on YT and one of my favorite people to check out is Justin Sandercoe: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=C007F52A4794430C Here's his website, in which there's a link to his blog: Free guitar lessons - justinguitar.com He's a cool London-based guy-I like the way he describes the lessons and he's just seems like a guy you'd have a beer with while jamming some blues songs!

Recently, I was on his channel and came across some odd comments to a video he did about a finger dexterity exercise. There is one comment that is at once a little comical and maybe a little touching. (The one about hating God) I like what the other guy ends up suggesting!

(Click to enlarge)

(continued)

I don't know how anyone can listen Don Imus for too long. Not only can he say some racist crap once in a while, but, that voice! It sounds like he's chewing on frogs while trying to speak! It kinda reminded me of that voice Billy Gibbons uses on La Grange-you know- that "heah heah heah heah" thing.

From wolverines to threats of gang-related shootings

Hi! How's it going!? Long time no see! I know, I know! I've been busy alright!? No, really, I have been busy with work and dealing with personal issues and professional issues and "other stuff"!

Well anyway, last night, I had to get away from all that other stuff, and where did I go? To that otherworldly sanctum of video ecstasy called Youtube! You see, Youtube can take me away, Calgon-it has all the necessary guitar/music videos I need to escape. It also has most of the comedic clips I need for a laugh, and it sometimes blows me away with stuff that I really don't expect!

Like, last night, for example. Here I am just aimlessly looking at clips about animals. For some reason, (don't ask me why) I looked up wolverines. I think I had seen a news blip about a wolverine or something, ok?! So, I'm looking for wolverine clips and I find one where a wolverine kicks ass on 2 wolves! I mean, the poor wolves had gone to all this trouble killing a moose or something-(they shoulda asked for help from Sarah P. huh?) and then this damn wolverine comes along and steals it. Not only steals it, but steals it in a very rude way! With lots of teeth gnashing and growling, yeah this wolverine didn't f$@% around! So, I want to find out more about this potentially vicious animal, but I'm distracted by the "Related Videos" link on the right of the screen. I see titles where there's fights between all kinds of different animals but with each click on the Related Videos, I get deeper into some shit I don't wanna see at all! I think the Related Videos thing is why we have banned our 7 year-old son from looking at Youtube! Hey! I really like your TTS! And More Moron music He likes to look at different kinds of machines- washing machines etc, jack in the boxes, cartoons, etc, but those damn Related Videos get him into trouble!

I finally get to this weird gangbanger shit, where some Sureno 13 gangbangers (who have unfortunately begun to set up shop around ABQ) are talking smack to some rival "Nortenos"! This one clip is getting all up on some Nortenos ass, talking all kinds of smack, maddogging it, esse! I look in the comments and, incongruously, (but somehow, very fitting!) amongst the nasty, undecipherable language and hopefully only written threats, is a spam comment that just melted all that hate away!

(click to enlarge)

I was tagged a few days ago by blogbuddy and fellow educator, Mathman When Will I Use This?

with the 5 different things- thing.

Well here goes:

1. Where was I ten years ago?

-September 1998- I was here in ABQ, beginning a tenure teaching in a special needs preschool classroom, at an elementary school about 5 minutes away from our house! I must have liked it-I stayed doing that up until last school year, when I became an itinerant early childhood liaison, working with special needs kids preschool to 3rd grade. I had taught a kindergarten special ed. classroom and the preschool special education classroom at another school for 3 years before that.

2. What was on my to do list today?

-work on some IEPs for upcoming meetings, and calling a parent about some issues. Email stuff; Pick up my son after school-(I am lucky I have my office where I write reports, IEPs, etc, at my son's school which is the same school I had taught at for 10 years-see above) to take him to his private Speech Therapist.

3. What would I do if I was a millionaire?

-I know this might sound bad as a teacher, but if I/we (ahem! says my wife!) won the lottery, I would want to quit working. (this would depend on how much of a millionaire I/we were, but, if it was a big win, I would want to finish out the year, and then resign, so that I could work on helping my son out more and advocating for him. Sometimes my (and my wife also) being tired affects how much I can do with and for him-simple things like going to the park, etc to other things like trying to implement at home some things that his therapists recommend we do, and doing more to help him deal with his autism. Being an educator is a very tough job, professionally and emotionally sometimes. I know there are some teachers who would never think of quitting but...that's their thing, and I applaud them. We should all hope that there are those teachers who can dedicate their whole lives to teaching our kids. I would probably want to help special educators with some expenses or other assistance since our state is so poorly funded education wise. I would help out my mom/family with some stuff, pay off a few things. Nothing extravagant.

4. Five places I have lived:

-that's easy-I haven't lived in more than two-here in ABQ, NM and Los Lunas, NM. Nowhere else.

5. Bad habits I have.

- not closing cupboard doors sometimes.

-not pushing in my chair

-staying on the computer for hours and hours-unless my wife gets a hold of me!

*If any of you blog mates want to do this tag, go ahead-no pressure!

Another blogmate, John from For Your Entertainment had this funny Jonathan Coulton zombie song- Your Brains: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2008/09/heavy-rotation.html. He has a link to Jonathan's site where if you drill down into Music and Mp3's you can find some good sometimes free funny songs. (This one is unfortunately not free-it's a dollar though, so what the heck)

Related Tags: gangs spam Jonathan+Coulton Your+Brains Mathman John+Sibley Mathman6293.blogspot.com foryourentertainment.blogspot.com

More YT music stuff!

* Sorry about that last War and Peace-sized last post! I promise that I won't do a post that long anymore! I had a **&^%$$'n hell of a time getting that thing to post too! I had trouble with the html tags and that caused my blog layout to change! I could not figure out what was wrong! You know what? It ended up being a Fox News video's code I embedded! Those guys are out to get me since I was making fun of 'em!

Anyway, I was perusing the YT files looking for a clips about playing some acoustic Zep songs (Going to California; Bron-Y-Aur) and came across this interesting clip for the song Going to California and some (more) funny clips and comments to go with it. I am not going to give the link for this guy-I know that you can find it anyway but give him a break ok? I know that you will probably think of his talents in a certain way, but come on- The poor guy-it takes some guts to go and sing your damn heart out on a clip all for people to leave nothing but scathing comments for it!










Related Tags:Youtube Led+Zeppelin Going+To+California

Play that funky music!

*First off-one of my most favorite cartoonists, Dan Piraro, agreed to let me link to his blog- Bizarro Blog What an honor! Check out his blog! It's as funny and zany as his strips!

This is gonna be a pure music post. I have really been playing my guitar lately. Anyone who has read my profile knows that I love to play the guitar. I like all kinds of music, but like to play rock and roll on the guitar most of all. I just love looking for clips on Youtube showing how to play this riff or that lick. There are thousands of those clips on there, some good, and some not so good. I recently checked out some clips and saw a guy that posted a lot of clips some of which are ok and some not so good. I mean, he seems like a real nice guy, seems like he's a good father, (his daughter is featured in some of the clips) but there are a couple of clips he has that just aren't that good. He seems to have trouble sometimes with tuning his guitar. He seems to have some trouble playing some songs without very loudly playing the "real" track to play along, sometimes drowning out his own playing.

Now, I will be the first person to say that I will never post a video of me playing a song or a riff to YouTube. I think it takes some guts to post those, when you know that some people (in my case many people!) are going to be commenting negatively about your playing, the song you picked etc, etc. I don't comment negatively on video clips of guitarists/musicians I don't like. (I do comment negatively, although without profanity, etc. for political/socio-cultural clips whose views I disagree with) If anything, I will comment positively about the video. I really don't like to see the negative comments for players who are trying their best, trying to show people something, but then again, you're putting yourself "out there" for all to see and hear and that's what the comment function is for.

Well, I have seen some funny comments poking around in YouTube, and for this one particular guitar player who has posted many clips of himself, one commenter- (jedihakker) had some choice words for the guy's playing on several of clips. Ok, I admit I kinda thought jedihakker's comments were humorous. I admit it. Maybe you "have to be there" with this thing. Anyway, I decided against posting the link for this guy's clips. You will be able to find it if you know how to look at the screenshots anyway. I am going to be looking for other comments for different kinds of clips and maybe posting those later. Sometimes the comments are funnier than the clips themselves! Maybe this is just a very dumb idea. Probably. Feel free to give me some negative comments!

Funny clip about a guitarist getting haunted by Pachelbel's Canon in D!

I saw this next clip on Because I was Bored and like Marvin, I have to post it also! Rainin' McCain by the McCain Girls. This is not funky, not tuneful and could be used as a musical emetic! It plays as a parody of sorts but it seems they really do like McCain! Don't eat a large meal before watching this one!




Related Tags:Pachelbel Canon+In+D Rob+Paravonian Bizarro+Blog Bizarro Dan+Piraro Comics YouTube guitars href="http://technorati.com/tag/McCain+Girls" rel="tag">McCain+Girls Rainin'+McCain