A New Beginning...

I haven't been around lately. I've been a little burned out. I guess that's what it was. I just didn't feel like blogging too much lately.

Well, I recently got a spark. One of those creative sparks that makes you feel like a new person. An invigorating jolt of creative juice! I needed something to ignite that fire under me and I didn't know it, but I was sitting on it all the time!

I had to reach deep inside me, inside my bowels to get it, but now it's here and I think this is gonna be good!

Yes, from now on, this blog is gonna be all about farts. Yes-farts. Farts, farting, farted, farts.

Farts that smell so horrible, they make you want to kill someone in a likewise manner:

Farts that were "dealt" by you, but to deflect criticism, you feign innocence and express outrage:

Farts that you sample and savor as one of your own:

Farts that make you go absorightwingin' bonkers:

Farts that make you absoleftwingin' bonkers: (or at least absoliberalin' bonkers)

Yep-farts. They can be a really harrowing experience...

or blogfodder for getting back into posting dumb shit trying to make people laugh!

A blast from the past-Gorgeous George-a public access a-hole who "hosted" the self-titled show on Richmond, VA public access, where he constantly gets insulting calls to his program, and he tries to one-up the insults. This clip kinda goes with the toilet humor theme.

I love Robin William's standup-what a great standup comedian! You gotta be on your toes with this guy! This clip is great! Talk about impromptu! (He did a little SU while there were technical difficulties at the Technology Entertainment and Design Conference, which was being held in Monterey, California, and being filmed by the BBC).


via videosift.com


Related Tags:farts Javier+Bardem Bill+O'Reilly Michelle+Malkin Amy+Polumbo Rosie+O'Donnell The+Scream Gorgeous+George Robin+Williams

Statesmanship and stupidity

Now that I have a little more time to post stuff, being on Spring Break, I haven't really been in the mood, and the ideas have been on "low." Real low! I had this Jimmy Carter thing in my "drafts" folder for a while and finally decided to post it, since I'm "fresh out." Its a bit of commentary on our current state of affairs by our former President, Jimmy Carter (who I always liked a lot). He's madder than hell about the things going on in our country! He tells us about how we really didn't know how good we had it with him in office compared to the jerk we have now! This little speech is inspiring! It's also very, very profane! Hey-who am I to censor a former President's ire!

I Got What America Needs Right Here

This other thing is something I debated posting... Oh well, I'm gonna post it. When I am not reading blogs, commenting on blogs or doing my blog, I enjoy looking at clips on Youtube. I seem to be able to find a lot of cool rock videos, comedian videos and political clips that are interesting. Well, this being America-where there is a great marketplace of ideas, on Youtube I sometimes find clips that are not at all enjoyable-stuff that is racist, ignorant, homophobic and crap that's as far right as you can go. Well, in addition to watching videos, I also like leaving sarcastic comments on the crappy video people's clips, just to get them mad-show that I'm here (like they do to the people who post stuff that is opposite of their political and cultural viewpoint). Hey, that's why there's comments right?! I never use foul language, or threaten or curse anyone-I just like to give my opinion of their stupid, crappy video. Minutemen, Save Our State, etc., clips, people who think Bill O'Reilly is God, and just general wingers are fair game if I happen to come across stuff like that. (Liveleak-LiveLeak.com is another "forum" for ideas!-lots of righties there!)

Recently, I came across such a video. In it- here is the link for the vid: democratic tree hugger -some young men come across a young women's car outside of a business, and since there are anti-war, anti-Bush and "liberal" bumper stickers on her car, they get out their camcorder and accost her as she comes out of the business and ask her why-why does she have those awful bumper stickers?! They tell her if she doesn't like our country, she can get the fuck out!

Now, I think this is one of the most stupid things I have ever seen. Someone getting questioned about their bumper stickers by complete strangers, while being filmed with a camcorder, when they come out a store, bank, or whatever is the height of idiocy. Of course its not illegal. I know that. Its just really, really dumb. Something some dumb high school kids, or some dumb frat boys would do. Anyway, I have been leaving some comments for this little turd and my latest has not been responded to. (I am "Icitnow"-actually the "author" of the clip responded to one of my comments and he didn't seem to realize I was being facetious!)

Here are some screenshots of the comments section. The only thing I regret-I forgot to put an "a" in that last comment about the party! Dammit! I want to be grammatically correct when I'm delivering an insult to some dumbass!

*Lastly-I always try to leave the political stuff to those who do it well Distributor Cap, Monkey, Some Guy and Jon Swift. Well, I just had to say-my governor, Bill Richardson did something I am proud of. He endorsed Barack. It took him a while to make his decision, and with all the courtin' he was getting from Bill C, and his ties to the Clinton presidency, I think its a brave, and great decision he made! Hell, I think it would be great for him to be the VP! Now, that would be some diplomacy!

Related Tags: Jimmy+Carter Presidents Youtube videos Bill+Richardson Barack+Obama

T-shirt Tag!

I got tagged by my newest blogpal Mathman from When Will I Use This?.

Let's see...this is what you are supposed to do:

1. Link back to the original post.

2. Describe two t-shirts that you own.

3. If you design your own vanity t-shirt what would it say?

4. Where would you wear your vanity t-shirt?

5. Tag three of your best blogging buds.

Well here goes:

1. check

2. Here are my 2 T-shirts:

This first t-shirt is a shirt I got free for attending a Microsoft Vista Launch Tour. I attended because the instructor of the computer class I was attending at the time made it a class assignment. At the Microsoft event, I picked a seminar to attend and mine was related to some Vista utility add-ons (I think) . It was kinda funny looking around at the crowd who attended this seminar and the people who were milling about at the hotel where it was held. Lots of people who looked like they might be computer geeks. I guess that goes without saying, being at a Microsoft event, and I don't mean to pigeon hole people, but there was a certain look in abundance that day!

Another thing that was funny is that they had all these laptops up front ready to present different tools, scenarios to demo, a huge screen, all these cords and stuff, and the presenters were smooth and did a pretty good job, but I swear at least 3 or four times in the presentation I attended, the screen went blank or some kind of error popped up! All of us geeks were laughing our geeky heads off at the irony! I sat through a Microsoft seminar that had a buncha Blue Screens of Death and all I got was this lousy t-shirt that doesn't fit because...uhhm... I think it shrunk or something!

My other t-shirt is one I got from when I was a classroom teacher at the elementary school (I am a itinerant special ed teacher presently). It is a Character Counts t-shirt that the school administration wanted staff and students to wear on Fridays to show school spirit and to model good behavior. Mine shrunk (funny how all my t-shirts keep doing that!) and got deoderant stains so I never wore it again after a while! (hey! being a teacher-especially a preschool special needs teacher is a sweaty job!)

When I was in high school, and just after graduating, I had a bunch of metal concert t-shirts-the Scorpions, Iron Maiden, AC-DC, etc, but I wore them out, or I got rid of them. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of some of them, although I could no longer wear that Scorpions shirt (it's the Blackout one with the guy with forks in his eyes!) or the Iron Maiden one with all that gross, axe-killer stuff. Needless to say, my parents were not amused with those kinds shirts!

3. My t-shirt would say: Glenn Beck: The asshole who's a real pain with an asshole in real pain.

I know-it's kinda dumb! I couldn't think of anything else!

4. I would wear it on a walk on the nature trail. No, really-this would be a good one to wear to the latest war protest.

5. I am gonna tag 3 unsuspecting blogmates: here they are and I can just bet they'll have some good t-shirts!!

1. Aye! small thoughts...

2. Casual Slack

3. Some Guy's Blog

Dischord in the newsroom, troublesome humor, and napkin music

Gee whiz I'm glad I get along-(generally) with my co-workers! These guys will probably beat the crap out of each other in the parking garage after work!



I have always loved Troubletown! The way Lloyd Dangle draws his characters with their constant scowls is funny enough, but he also seems to often have some insightful takes on today's politics! Here is his observation of how the news media deals with Obama vs McCain:



On the Troubletown site there are some kinda cool little things you can do-like ask Alberto Gonzalez a question, see who will fill the great Reagan mold, and some funny drawings from his sketchbook, and the Troubletown blog: Welcome to Troubletown.com


We all need a little break from our super serious world every now and then. Some of us will read...some listen to a good comedian...some listen to music. Yeah, music- sweet, sweet music. How it can soothe the soul! This is just cool. A musical about an available napkin! I have posted some of Improv Everywhere's skits before-I really like them! I think the reaction on people's faces is great when the actors begin doing their stuff! The people eating and doing whatever they were doing at the food court seem to enjoy this kind of musical theater!




Related Tags: news anchors reporters Troubletown comics Lloyd+Dangle Improv+Everywhere improv+comedy musicals

Some stuff

George Carlin talks about stuff. We have a whole hell of a lot of "stuff" in our house. In fact, we probably need to do a little spring cleaning to get rid of a lot of that stuff! I always liked the way Carlin could develop a theme and draw it out, adding other funny stuff (ha ha) along the way!



Ohh boy, isn't this ironic! I just had to post this!









Related Tags: George+Carlin Stand+up+comedians Hillary+Clinton Barack+Obama political+ads Casey+Knowles Bluetooth

Why work when you can %&*$# around?!

In between (not procrastinating-honest!) doing reports for my job as a special needs itinerant teacher I decided to check out one of my newest blog pal's site Distributor Cap. From his great site, I saw one of his links to an interesting site called Mathman. Mathman had a cool little toy called the Advertising Slogan Generator http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan I tried it out and played around with some funny stuff. You can enter a word with some of those generators (nouns work best it seems) and what I like is that you can keep hitting "refresh" or "reload" or the "create" button to make your phrase/whatever and it just changes the quotation/phrase around your silly words! I guess he got these from http://thesurrealist.co.uk/, where there are some more cool time wasters. Stuff like where you can plug in a funny word and click the button and out comes a funny phrase or quote using your word. I really like stuff like this! I think its fun, and its some of what the "web 2.0" offers or was supposed to offer: fun interactive stuff where you can create funny shit like this:

Out, damned fart! Out, I say!

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:

Or this:

They don't throw their garbage away. They make it into poop.

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:

I know some might think this is infantile, stupid, and idiotic stuff, but I think its FUN infantile, stupid, and idiotic stuff! Hey, I am glad that I now have Distributor Cap as a blog mate, and I am glad he has such cool friends!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go back to writing those reports. Ahem!


Related tags:web+2.0 generators time+wasters

Really, Really Poorly Thought Out Graffiti*

Related Tags: graffiti gangs brick+walls